Happy Easter

Happy Easter!

Yes, I’m well aware that Easter has come and gone. But I’m only now able to celebrate because of the trauma that overtook my house on that blessed day.

Starting with this little burn stain:

And ending with this bleeding scratch on my cheek (the picture does not do my pain justice, I tell you):

It all started when my mother-in-law decorated the Easter table down the center with fake grass, and then lit tea lights and nestled them down INTO said fake grass. (She likes her some decoration).

And maybe while I unwrapped an Easter present from her, I might have gently set some of the tissue paper onto the table whereby the hidden tea light suddenly grabbed ahold and the next second my table was on fire.

Anyway. In chronological order, the following then occurred:

I screamed.

I blew on the burning tissue paper.

It flamed ever higher.

My 6 yr. old niece (with very thick, flammable hair) sitting next to me, playing with her new strawberry shortcake doll, copped a terrified look.

I picked up the burning paper and ran to the door.

Thereby creating more oxygen for the flames.

The paper burned my hand.

I dropped it on the carpet near the door, screamed R’s name, and ran to the kitchen for water.

Whereby he came sprinting over and stamped out the flaming paper.

The end. (And yes, I violated every fire safety rule ever written in one 5 second mishap).

The stain of burn is not easily removed, FYI.

And what of my bleeding cheek, I am sure you’re wondering? Let’s just say that when your husband finds a dog bone upstairs and decides to throw it over the staircase, it behooves you not to simultaneously be walking up the stairs.

Happy Easter.

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